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Welcome one and all to The Diary of a Chunky White Guy. I hope this blog will keep me inspired in my weight loss goals, but I also hope to help others who are struggling with their weight, whether they're ten pounds or two hundred overweight. I'm not a doctor, and I'm not a psychologist, but perhaps by posting my struggles, victories and viewpoints, I can make a difference in someone's life.

Tuesday, June 4, 2013

Silly Rabbit or What To Do With A Craving

The story I'm about to unfold is a tale of wanton lust and desire. It may contain descriptions too unsettling for younger readers. Discretion is advised, but only if you're a weenie.

     As most of you know, I've recently rededicated myself to the cause of losing weight and generally being healthier, and as of March 1st, 2013 I have managed to lose 25.8 pounds. This is the single biggest weight loss that I've experienced in my entire life. It feels really, really good. I've accomplished this feat by adhering to the principles that I decided upon way back in 2010 when I started this blog. I'm being sensible about my diet, I've laid off drinking soda, and I've almost completely cut out fast food. I've also been exercising more, and generally just trying to better myself. One of my biggest struggles however, is that when I have a craving for something, the craving

WILL. NOT. GO. AWAY.

     I get it in my head that I want something (usually cookies. Mmmmm, cookies.) and that feeling stays with me until I either indulge it, or try to fool my head into believing it's had what it thinks it needs. This usually involves healthier junk food like a Skinny Cow snack or something of the ilk. I'm getting better at managing the cravings, but every now and again one throws me for a loop. This is a story of one of those days.

     While at work yesterday, in the middle of picking up a heavy thing and measuring it, my brain decides to send me a craving. The craving wasn't fully formed yet, but I knew I was hungry for...something. I shook it off, went and got a few cups of water, then went back to lifting and measuring heavy things. Lunchtime came and went (I had an awesome salad) and still this vague notion of want lingered in my subconscious. I tried again to shake it off, but as the day wore on, the fog inside my mind began to lift, and I suddenly realized what I wanted, I realized what vital foodstuff that my body needed inside of it RIGHT NOW.

Trix.

     Trix cereal. You know, with the rabbit. The one that's "just for kids." Fruity, crunchy, Trix. I was taken aback at first. Out of all the cereals that I've consumed in my lifetime, Trix has never been a particular favorite. I mean, I LIKE it but I never expected it to be on a list of things that I'd crave. I hadn't eaten Trix in years, and right then for whatever reason, my body needed those little fruit-shaped, crispy pieces like a smoker needs a cigarette after a stressful day. I pushed the thought aside and clocked out for the day. I had to hurry home so I could get showered, changed and then head to play rehearsal. Throughout the drive home, the dulcet tones of Ira Glass' "This American Life" were droned out by my brain's one constant thought, one singular word repeated in my mind:

 Trixtrixtrixtrixtrixtrixtrixtrixtrixtrixtrixtrixtrixtrixtrixtrixtrixtrixtrixtrixtrixtrixtrixtrixtrixtrixtrixtrixtrixtrixtrixtrixtrixtrixtrixtrixtrixtrix...       
     

     I did not have time to stop at the grocery store...Trix...so I told myself that...Trix...I didn't need any..Trix...right now and that this was...Trix a dumb craving...Trix and I couldn't possibly..Trix...want cereal that badly...Trix. "I'm fine. I'm an adult," I told myself. "The only kind of cereal I need now has lots of fiber and protein in it. It keeps me full and keeps me regular. I don't need any stupid...Trix." After eating a nice club sandwich from Subway, I got home, showered and went to rehearsal. Rehearsing kept my mind off of the craving for a while. So much so that I forgot to stop at the grocery...Trix...store on the way home. I had planned to go in there and buy a small box of...Trix. Once at home, I sat down and...Trix...went about the nightly texting with my girlfriend, Christina. We exchanged stories of our day and I explained...Trix...to her my weird craving for Trix..Trix. She mistakenly thought that I was texting her while on the way home, so later on she asked if I had gotten my cereal. I told her no, that I had...Trix...forgotten but that this craving was driving me nuts...Trix. We exchanged goodnights, and I went off to bed. I did not dream of Trix that night, but my first thought this morning besides "OH CRAP I'M RUNNING LATE!" was "Man, I gotta get some Trix today."

     The drumbeat of that little four letter word had died down quite a bit, and I didn't think about that fruity deliciousness for the rest of the day, except for a fleeting thought that I had beaten another craving. The workday ended, and I headed home. I reminded myself to stop at the grocery store for dog food, and as soon as I stepped foot into that building, a giant fire alarm of want sounded in my head. This time, my mind was sending me even clearer messages:

TRIX YOU WANT TRIX GET TRIX GET TRIX GET TRIX GET SOME FREAKING TRIX HOLY CRAP GET TRIX WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH YOU MAN I NEED TRIX GET ME SOME TRIX.

     I caved. I got the dog food, then headed to the cereal aisle. I began to get frantic. I COULD NOT FIND THE FRIGGING TRIX! Every other cereal imaginable was there except for the one that would quell the hungry beast in my head. In a moment of panic, I sent Christina a text saying "HOW CAN THEY NOT HAVE TRIX AT WINN-DIXIE?" Then I immediately realized that I was in the Kellog's section of the cereal aisle. I went down to the General Mills area, and there it was. A big, red box of Trix, located directly under the Kix, which was hilarious to me, for some reason. I sent Christina another text, apologizing for my previous text, then proceeded to the checkout line. I made it home without ripping into the box and just pouring it on my face, which at one time seemed like a viable option. Once at home, I took care of my dogs, changed my clothes and sat down to finally put an end to this torment.

They were...okay.

     They tasted like I remembered, but somehow weren't as delicious as I recalled. They certainly didn't warrant the stuff my brain had put me through for two days. They were good, though, and my mind was suddenly at rest. Whatever caused me to want that specific flavor of food had been satiated. I took a look at the nutrition label: 120 calories in a cup, plus my milk. It's not a steep caloric price to pay for quieting a craving. I can live with that.

 Today's moral of the story: When you're trying to eat better, every now and then it's okay to give in to a craving. Just don't go nuts.

Anyone want a 3/4 full box of..Trix?

Until next time, Dragon Slayers.